Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
