he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
