Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
