Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
