i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
