Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we're making bets on your personal life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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