I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
