I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
