im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
