took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize