drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
