this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
