I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize