The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
