Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
