I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize