Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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