DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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