Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
