Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
