Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
