check it out our google latitudes are spooning
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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