i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
