then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
