everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I will pee on everything he values.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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