So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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