There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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