peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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