Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
