real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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