can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
