do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
