and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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