just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
