OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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