I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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