Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
