you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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