then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
