There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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