She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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