Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize