BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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