google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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