Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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