You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize