And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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