if i can run in heels then i can drive
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
