haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
