I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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