Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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