he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
