you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
