Just mADE A PArabola og urine
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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