I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
