And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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