i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
