they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize