Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring me that man meat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
