White coat. Heels.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
