We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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