VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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