he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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