I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
