i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
