Non-Jews are for practice
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im part way to drunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize