i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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