We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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