Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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